Friday, May 10, 2013

Freida Bee's Day Off

I don't really enjoy typing on this here iPad, but I'm too lazy to go buy a real keyboard for it and I bet those require some sort of currency I am more and more willing to let be ethereal.  Dammit, maybe I will get used to this.  At least my phone has swipey technology.  I am up at a redonculous 4 am, after being awake two hours already.  That's what happens when I go to bed early.  I think I actually got 10 hours of sleep yesterday or whenever that was.  It threw me all off. At least when I am barely getting my usual 6 hours a night, I sleep really well through it all and on up to about 5 alarm clock snoozefests.

I worked extra long yesterday to prepare to take a day off and have a sub tomorrow.  I almost feel guilty, but I have a whole lot of hours of personal leave and vacation I haven't used this year and once again got a perfect attendance email that offered some sports ticket I am not wholly interested or able to redeem anyway (weekend job).  If I could afford more than the diagnostics my newly found dental benefit, I might be using up my vacation time at dental visits, but it looks like that's all going to be stretched out over a longer time than I was hoping, with those dang kids getting their usual preferential treatment.  Dang, I am not here to talk about wishful dental visits.  

Not that what I am here to talk about is more interesting.  Not that I really know what it is that I am here to talk about.  I think Freida Bee was in large part documenting the demise and discontent of my marriage to the former Mr. Bee, and it might be apropos that it Is in actually considering having a date that this urge resurfaces.  This spectacle can't exist without making a spectacle of myself.  

There's that and it may well be that my first year of teaching actually is my hardest, and I'm just about done with that.  My school is going to have me back next year, but with revised duties.  In some ways I feel failurey that my assignment at one of the best schools around will be changing.  I won't be an exclusively a core teacher.  That will be what I do two class periods, with a gardening elective during another, but I am primarily being moved to run a "lab" of sorts that is for drop out prevention and curriculum enrichment.  It is not altogether busy at present, but "they" are interested in my making my own and building it up, which is an appealing prospect.  It feels like a demotion or sorts, but I think I will really like my new schedule and responsibilities a lot more.  The fact that I will be teaching two sections of the grade I am currently teaching means that I will not only get to reteach and refine what I have been doing this year, but I will also get to collaborate with with a really awesome teacher at my school who will be teaching the other sections of that grade level, something I really haven't been able to do this year.  I have just been in total survival mode all year on many fronts and it started with moving the second day of school.  What a cluster.  I dare say, things may lighten up.

So, the messager on a popular alternative dating site and I have moved a conversation to text and sometimes it's kinda hot.  After slutting it up a little couple years ago when Mr. Bee and I first split, he and I spent a good amount of time together last summer camping with the boys.  I was semi-purposely homeless camping and house sitting last summer, and he was situationally aimless himself, so we hanky pankied it up a little.  I haven't had the time or inclination to pursue such interests until now, though a few months ago it did become clear to me that our resorting to what was easy and accessible without much effort had other costs I am now unwilling to pay.  Namely, I really do want to move on to greener pastures.  I have been open to seeing ladies and do think it is somewhat the statistical challenges that have hampered that mostly, but I am really siding with the bi team more than with the gay team now that I've had some perspective.  Surely, getting into a relationship with someone of one gender or the other is the best way to push me in the other direction, but all that is to say that I forfeit a bit of my queer card to say it is a gentleman with whom I am exchanging titilating texts.   It all seems very prudish, really, but I am all over going slow and doing this well, because there is something pretty good about this one, his interest at the very least.  Not the least of which some very sweet and funny texts.

I'm sure some angst will ensue before too long.  I think I will be able to get back to sleep now.  Hopefully, I will only piss off a few hours of my precious day off sleeping in at this point.

(I'm switching from Bee Author to Freida Bee at least for today.)

Bee out.  

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